Cover of Women Decoded: A Man's Survival Handbook, a comic-style board book

The engagement gift everyone signs

Better than a card he’ll throw away

Name: Women Decoded: A Man's Survival Handbook
Brand: Women Decoded
SKU: WD-BOARD-6X8
Price: 18.00 USD
Availability: InStock
ISBN: 9798218511258

Women Decoded: A Man’s Survival Handbook

A $5 card gets recycled by Tuesday. Get this instead, have everyone at the party sign the inside cover, and hand it to him. It costs about the same and it stays on a shelf.

It’s a 28-page board book that translates what she actually said. Three real entries:

“One sec.”: This could take anywhere from a minute to an hour.
“Probably.”: It’s a definite no, but I’m being polite.
“K.”: This single letter is loaded with more attitude than an entire paragraph.

There are 26 pages of these, A to Z. See the pages

Buy — from $18

1 for $18 · 3 for $39 · 10 for $99 · free shipping

Also on Amazon for $18.99 if that is easier.

Blank inside coverRoom for the whole table

6 x 8 inchesThick board pages

Ships freeUSPS, 2–5 days

How it works

Three steps. There is no fourth step.

Buy it before the party

$18, shipping included, arrives in a few days. Cheaper than the card plus whatever you were going to put in it.

Pass it around

The inside cover is blank and takes pen fine. Everyone signs it, and at least one person writes something they shouldn’t.

He keeps it

It reads out loud well, so it gets opened at the party. Then it sits on a shelf instead of going in the recycling.

Buy — from $18

What the inside looks like

Real pages, real book. Thicker than people expect.

Women Decoded standing open on a stack of copies, showing the comic-style pages inside

Three copies of Women Decoded stacked, front cover and printed spines visible

Back cover of Women Decoded with the book description and ISBN barcode

Buy — from $18

How many do you need

Free shipping on all of them, with no minimum. One box, however many books.

1 copy

$18

$18.00 each

One party, one couple. The usual order.

Buy 1 — $18

2 copies

$29

$14.50 each

One to sign, one to keep clean. Or two couples this year.

Buy 2 — $29

3 copies

$39

$13.00 each

Wedding season. You already know whose.

Buy 3 — $39

Best value per copy

10 copies

$99

$9.90 each

Groomsmen, the whole wedding party, or the office that keeps getting engaged.

Buy 10 — $99

Free shipping on every order, at every size. Ships USPS within 1–2 business days: 2–5 days nationwide, 1–2 days around Sacramento. If the party is on a date, say so when you order and I will make sure it lands early.

Prices include any applicable California sales tax. Nothing gets added at checkout — the price you see is the price you pay. Card payments are handled by QuickBooks.

Want more than 10?

Past ten copies it gets its own pricing. Wedding venues, event planners, bridal shops, gift shops and party stores all land here. Tell me roughly how many and whether you want them shipped or picked up, and I will send numbers back.

There are about nine thousand of them in a garage in Rocklin, so quantity is not the problem. Local to Sacramento? That is easier and cheaper for both of us.

Email about 10+ copies

What buyers said

Three of them, unedited.

“I purchased the book directly from the seller. This is such a fun book to give for a birthday, holiday or engagement party! Everytime I flip through it, I notice another phrase that I often use. The definitions are spot on! My personal favorite is “K. - This single letter is loaded with more attitude than an entire paragraph.” So true!!”

MeghanCustomer

“The book quality is great and the content is hilarious. It's a perfect for-fun gift or to have lying around to entertain guests. Each page gives a good laugh and I'd definitely recommend it!”

ChadAmazon Customer

“Women Decoded reads like a 1950's comic book, with witty responses to common conversations with your spouse or significant other. As we age, wisdom is grown on us from all our experiences, good and bad. For my own reasons and experiences, this book couldn't be more truthful.”

DuraMtrAmazon Customer

Buy — from $18

Free shipping on every order. 1–2 days around Sacramento, 2–5 days nationwide.

Questions

Is there room to sign it?

Yes. The inside cover is blank and takes pen fine. It is board stock, so nothing bleeds through. Ten or twelve people fit comfortably, more if they keep it short.

Can I buy more than one?

Yes, and it costs less per copy. Two for $29, three for $39, ten for $99. They go in one box, which is the only reason the discount exists. See the packs.

How much is shipping?

Nothing. Shipping is free on every order, at every pack size, with no minimum to hit. It is already in the price. Ships USPS from the Sacramento area within 1–2 business days, and lands in 1–2 days locally or 2–5 days everywhere else in the US.

Will she find it funny?

Usually she laughs harder than he does. The joke is on the man who needs a translation guide, not on her.

Is tax added at checkout?

No. The price on this page is what your card is charged. Any California sales tax is already inside it, and shipping is free, so there is nothing added at the last step.

Is this a real book or just a gag?

Both. 28 thick glossy board pages, 6 x 8 inches, professionally printed and bound. It looks like a joke and holds up like a book, which is the point if it is going to sit on a shelf with everyone’s handwriting in it.

I want more than 10, for a wedding party or a shop.

Then email me and skip the buttons. Anything past ten gets its own pricing, and if you are anywhere near Sacramento I can usually just hand them to you. Email about 10+ copies.

What if it arrives damaged?

Email us and we will make it right. If it has to be signed at a party on a particular date, say so when you order and I will make sure it lands early.

Still have questions?

Ask before you order, especially if there is a date involved.